Long Distance Relationships are not as cutesy and as sparkly as they may be portrayed on social media. I think I may even be guilty of contributing to this perception. LDR’s are hard. There is no maybe’s about it. It definitely takes a special kind of person to entice you into leading this lifestyle. You wouldn’t do it if you didn’t have the hope that it would last.
It takes a long while to settle into a long distance relationship. In my last blog post about how Brad and I met, I talked about how quickly our relationship moved in the beginning. It only took us a month until we had met in person. Hell, within that month we even said our first “I love you.” But the new relationship stage lasts a lot longer. Sometimes I wonder if Brad and I have yet to leave it! Being together is always exciting and you always want to make the most of your time and squeeze as many kisses, cuddles and date nights into the visit as possible! This is by no means a bad thing. In fact it is probably one of my favourite things about our relationship because it means that I am always kept busy. However, what is concerning is that while I know not to expect this when the distance closes, what if I do? I guess time will only tell.
More obviously is the distance. No one expects it to be easy to live so far from the one you love, but I feel like this is something that people outside of the relationship forget when they are viewing your relationship through the narrow eye of social media. I don’t necessarily talk openly about missing Bradley, but I do, and I can’t just hop on a train to see him. Sometimes I can’t even pick up the phone. In an LDR, sometimes you just need to suck it up and get on with it. You become a master of distraction, yet missing them is still looming around in the background of your mind. Nothing really satisfies that (except from maybe a skype call from your beloved!)
With the problem of distance there is time. Most couples in long distance relationships have to tackle with time. Although Brad and I live in the same time zone, our body clocks are worlds apart because he works in a pub. Not only that, but our personal schedules are completely different. We can go days having only sent each other a few texts. While bloggers all preach “communication is key” it really doesn’t mean that we have constant communication with our partners. I don’t know what Brad is doing every minute of the day. Neither do most other long distance couples, and we probably wont know. We share snippets of our lives on a daily basis, and you have to go by the information they give you.
When you do get to spare a few moments… or hours of your life you will be skyping with your partner, but unsurprisingly even that gets boring. Sitting silently on skype is in no way similar to sitting silently while cosied up with your sweetheart. There is no affection, and there is a lack of attention as you both distract yourselves while scrolling endlessly through your facebook feeds, only occasionally stumbling across something that is worthwhile sharing. It’s only a matter of time until you run out of ideas.
By no means are long distance relationships all doom and gloom, although this post definitely makes it seem that way. However, I felt it was time to strip back from our cute and happy instagram pictures and address the inevitable truth about our long distance pairing.
Tell me about your experiences in an LDR in the comments below!