The Truth about my LDR

Long Distance Relationships are not as cutesy and as sparkly as they may be portrayed on social media. I think I may even be guilty of contributing to this perception. LDR’s are hard. There is no maybe’s about it. It definitely takes a special kind of person to entice you into leading this lifestyle. You wouldn’t do it if you didn’t have the hope that it would last.

It takes a long while to settle into a long distance relationship. In my last blog post about how Brad and I met, I talked about how quickly our relationship moved in the beginning. It only took us a month until we had met in person. Hell, within that month we even said our first “I love you.” But the new relationship stage lasts a lot longer. Sometimes I wonder if Brad and I have yet to leave it! Being together is always exciting and you always want to make the most of your time and squeeze as many kisses, cuddles and date nights into the visit as possible! This is by no means a bad thing. In fact it is probably one of my favourite things about our relationship because it means that I am always kept busy. However, what is concerning is that while I know not to expect this when the distance closes, what if I do? I guess time will only tell.

More obviously is the distance. No one expects it to be easy to live so far from the one you love, but I feel like this is something that people outside of the relationship forget when they are viewing your relationship through the narrow eye of social media. I don’t necessarily talk openly about missing Bradley, but I do, and I can’t just hop on a train to see him. Sometimes I can’t even pick up the phone. In an LDR, sometimes you just need to suck it up and get on with it. You become a master of distraction, yet missing them is still looming around in the background of your mind. Nothing really satisfies that (except from maybe a skype call from your beloved!)

With the problem of distance there is time. Most couples in long distance relationships have to tackle with time. Although Brad and I live in the same time zone, our body clocks are worlds apart because he works in a pub. Not only that, but our personal schedules are completely different. We can go days having only sent each other a few texts. While bloggers all preach “communication is key” it really doesn’t mean that we have constant communication with our partners. I don’t know what Brad is doing every minute of the day. Neither do most other long distance couples, and we probably wont know. We share snippets of our lives on a daily basis, and you have to go by the information they give you.

When you do get to spare a few moments… or hours of your life you will be skyping with your partner, but unsurprisingly even that gets boring. Sitting silently on skype is in no way similar to sitting silently while cosied  up with your sweetheart. There is no affection, and there is a lack of attention as you both distract yourselves while scrolling endlessly through your facebook feeds, only occasionally stumbling across something that is worthwhile sharing. It’s only a matter of time until you run out of ideas.

By no means are long distance relationships all doom and gloom, although this post definitely makes it seem that way. However, I felt it was time to strip back from our cute and happy instagram pictures and address the inevitable truth about our long distance pairing.

Tell me about your experiences in an LDR in the comments below!

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15 thoughts on “The Truth about my LDR

  1. I agree, LDR are challenging and sometimes they suck. It is like a 3-way entity. There is you, your partner, and the distance in between. It gives us the opportunity to practice patience, trust –on the highest level, and choosing each other again and again. You choose each other through the distance, you choose each other through challenges and ups and downs, you choose each other when you feel lonely and alone, but you hang on to hope and you know that it will be worth-it in the end.
    My relationship is a little different because we dated, then we didn’t talk at all for a couple of months, then we got back together, then lived together for almost a year, now our jobs keep us apart during the week. It felt like the hardest thing for me to be apart from him after having nearly constant companionship.
    I noticed that it really brought out my fears and insecurities. I was worried that the distance would make him forget about me… Or that I wasn’t good enough… I know that a lot of these worries are my own personal issues. Then I realized that I am afraid to trust because I am afraid of getting hurt.
    Then one day I decided to shift my focus. This LDR has given me the opportunity and the gift of time to focus on bettering myself. I have noticed that the space and growing trust has brought us even closer and our relationship has grown stronger than ever.
    I have grown so much through this process. Hang in there. I wish you two the very best! Thanks for sharing your story!!! Xoxoxo.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You hit the nail right on the head with this post. I can’t agree more. Though I am one of those bloggers who always say ‘communication is key’, its sometimes easier said than done. But I cannot agree more with you on this. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah definitely ! You’re so right though. It’s really not easy, an LDR. So many people who are not in one, talk about it like its nothing. It’s hard as hell but also very rewarding, I feel like. ^^

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh the truth about LDR. I’m in LDR with my boyfriend for maybe 80% of our over 3 years and counting relationship literally. It took us 10months before we saw each other after we become a couple (*I said yes to him on Facebook.) We spent roughly less than a month then LDR again. The longest that we’ve shared one roof was only 5months. The struggles are real.. yet, it’s still a blessing. I actually realised that maybe God puts couple in a LDR because He wants to remind us that we are special and strong as individuals, and we should keep it, until we mastered the art of being with someone. Guess that works for some (like me) as I am a very independent person and it took me some time to get used to the notion of considering/consulting my boyfriend first before deciding on something. And being in LDR allows me to slowly manage that. 🙂

    Your post says exactly what its like to be in #LDR.


    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh the struggles of LDR! I’m one of those people who’s constantly ranting about my LDR. They are times I appreciate while other times I despise it. I think every couple has a love-hate relationship with their LDR

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “We can go days having only sent each other a few texts. While bloggers all preach “communication is key” it really doesn’t mean that we have constant communication with our partners. I don’t know what Brad is doing every minute of the day. Neither do most other long distance couples, and we probably wont know. We share snippets of our lives on a daily basis, and you have to go by the information they give you.”

    wow, actually this is refreshing since this is the first time i’ve seen a post talking about mundane yet hard-hitting reality of LDR– like, the lack of communication that can drag on for hours or even days. hell, i thought that wasn’t normal. i get caught up in my own personal situation i feel like it’s only me/us experiencing that. for some reason some people always portray inconsistent communication as really something bad– like it can potentially ruin your relationship INSTANTLY. but sometimes it’s really not. and this made me realize that i really should give up the idea of constant communication because in reality, it doesn’t really happen.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Don’t worry! It’s very normal! I think anybody that thinks otherwise is probably kidding themselves!… or new to their ldr.
      The reality of the matter is that your life still continues without the person there and it can be difficult to make an impression online sometimes.
      Brad and I have barely even skyped over the last couple of months while my uni work got really intense and even if we did one of us would be distracted by something else. It happens, but it doesn’t mean you live each other any less.


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